speechless

I never said a thing to hurt you
It's what I didn't say that made you cry
And in all honesty I never would've deserted you
I never dreamt that you would say goodbye


Pidge peered over the stack of printouts, trying desperately not to run into anyone. Why Coran was so insistent upon using paper printouts of these documents when holographic scanning was so much easier and more environmentally sound was entirely beyond him.

However, because Pidge was so short, and the stack was so tall, it was inevitable that would he run into somebody. That that somebody also happened to be Sven, was just pure bad luck.

Cursing in every language that he knew--which was quite a bit now that he thought about it--Pidge scrambled to retrieve the spilled papers, wishing that he believed enough in deities for one to appear and make the ground swallow him before he turned fire engine red in embarrassment.

To his surprise, Sven dropped to his knees to help him, calmly gathering the papers together in patient kindness. Pidge paused, marveled by the size of his hands. They were huge compared to his; manly and long fingered. So very different from his own small, pudgy appendages.

Then suddenly, all the papers were gathered and Sven was standing, normally stony face smooth and gentle.

And by the Gods, it was beautiful.

Pidge stared at him with dazzled eyes. He may be young, but he was worldly enough to understand what a crush was. And what he had for Sven was far more than that.

"Is that all of them?" Sven asked softly, kindly. Pidge nodded slowly. "Good. Be a little more careful next time, ok little buddy?" Sven grinned, a beautiful grin that lit up his face, and fondly ruffled Pidge's hair. "See you."

"Yeah. Bye."

Dazzled, confused, filled with little fluttering feelings, he could have gone on staring forever if the papers hadn't shifted and reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing. Cheeks reddening in an involuntary blush, he hurried down the hallway.


I never said a thing to hurt you
It's what I didn't say that made you cry
And in all honesty I never would've deserted you
I never dreamt that you would say goodbye


It was almost three months before Pidge saw Sven again--living on different planets created such problems. And over the three months, the young boy's crush had grown to, a fledgling love. Absence had made his heart grow...blinder, perhaps. The faults of his friend had gone with time, and Pidge was determined to confess his crush today. It's not like it would be that hard, right?

The Swede had a troubled face as he strode down the hall, clutching a folder. Pidge felt his heart beat a little faster at the sight and ran to catch up with the taller boy.

"Hey."

Sven glanced down at him and gave him a small, half-hearted smile, slowing his stride to accommodate the boy's smaller legs, one hand dropping down to rest comfortably on the younger man's shoulder.

"Do you think anybody would be particularly mad with me if I killed Keith?" Sven questioned.

"Today, yes. Wait until he starts in on one of his speeches--or perhaps when he's lecturing us on how we need to work together more." Pidge nodded to the folder. "What's that?"

"Something that shouldn't be here." Sven's face darkened again.

"Oh. Well, want to go get lunch?"

"Not right now, Pidge. Perhaps later. I need to go yell at Keith for a little while."

"I see. Hey Sven?"

"Mm?"

Pidge looked down at his hands, suddenly a little embarrassed. "What--No. Um...How do I say this?"

"Just spit it out, Pidge."

"Okay. You know you're one of my good friends, right?"

"And you're one of mine. So?"

"Well...I like you."

"And I like you too, Pidge. You're a great little half-pint." Sven ruffled Pidge's hair again, and the small boy patiently put up with the unconscious condensation.

"No, no, Sven. I mean, I like you. A lot. A whole lot."

"That's nice. I feel the same way about you. You're just so cute." Sven grinned lopsidedly, treating the entire conversation in a joking fashion.

Pidge sighed and threw up his hands. Tears of frustration, of hurt because of the dense nature of his friend, prickled behind his eyes. "Never mind. Bye, Sven. I'll see you later."

Sven watched him go in confused silence.


I'll close my eyes
Tell another lie
Think of yesterday
Think of everything you said
There's nothing left to say


Sven closed the door to his room with a relieved sigh, leaning against it with closed eyes. It had been a long day. And it was looking to be longer, if Keith had anything to say about it.

Sven sighed and, with eyes still closed, stumbled his way to the bed. I'm just going to lie down for a little while, and then I'm going to go to that meeting. He lay down on the so soft mattress. No I'm not. Oh God that feels good.

Sven felt the tension of the day drain from him until he was limp and suddenly so very tired. And yet...there was something bothering him. There was something that wasn't right, something out of place. Sven concentrated, flushing out the the little niggling problem that lurked within his mind.

Something about Pidge...Something about the conversation we had today. Wonder what brought it up... Sven yawned, wishing he could figure out so he could just go to sleep. "I like you. A lot."...Well, that's a nice thing to say, but I don't see what...Oh my God!

Sven shot up, suddenly not tired any more. No. He can't. It...No. I'm sure it's not...he couldn't possibly...But what if he does? Sven groaned in frustration. Sure, he had entertained thoughts about his team members...There was enough charisma and charm compressed into the other four that it was inevitable. And he had thought, during some of his calmer and more reflective moments, about the youngest member of the crew. He was charming and attractive in an impish, youthful fashion. But, well, they had never really been serious thoughts.

Still...if Pidge had meant what Sven thought he meant, than those idle thoughts could lead to something more. Oh man. I need to talk with him.

Sven almost fell from his bed in his rush to get to the door. Exiting his room, he rushed down the hall in a manner completely unlike himself, without a care for those in the way of his mad dash to the control room.

Gotta straighten this out, before it's too late...

Skidding on the marble floors, Sven dashed into the control room, just in time to see Pidge and the others run for the tubes that would take them to the lions.

Shit.

"Pidge!"


It's just another day with out you here
And it seems a long time since you went away and I fear
I'll dream another dream about you dear
And I'm afraid to close my eyes


The next moments would always be ingrained in Sven's mind, would play themselves out forever in his dreams, wake him with screaming denial and trembling, shaking cries.

The young pilot turned at the Sven's shout, distracted at the crucial moment. He was too close to the shaft, though, already poised to jump. The shout had distracted him too much, broken the concentration that was so crucial to this part of the whole Voltron process.

Pidge's hands grasped empty air, missing the bar by mere centimeters. Sven ran forward, but he knew that he was too late. Even as he slipped and slid across the floor with a painful squeaking sound, he knew the effort was futile.

Sven arrived at the shaft but a moment too late, unable to grasp Pidge's hand, but just in time to see Pidge fall.

And indeed he fell. Fast and hard, bouncing off of the metal walls with rattling cries and the sickening sound of crunching bones. There were little bloody circles left on the walls behind Pidge as he fell, and scraps of flesh and cloth on the huge, metal spikes of the irising egress of the shaft.


I'll close my eyes
Tell another lie
Think of yesterday
Think of everything you said
There's nothing left to say


This isn't happening. This isn't happening. It can't be. Oh God, this has to be a dream. A night mare. He isn't--He can't--Oh God!

Sven swallowed, closing his eyes in grief, flashes of Pidge in happier times blinking across the darkness. Images of Pidge alive, so very alive, talking with the space mice, or laughing at something--probably something stupid, but still so very funny to the as yet innocent killer.


I'll dream another dream about you
All that I can do
I'll dream another dream today
and I'll dream my life away


Sven felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back from the edge of the shaft. Coran probably. One of the others would be down by the body, checking the damage...

Sven wanted to shake the hand off, to pinch himself and wake himself from this nightmare. Or, if this was indeed too cruel reality, than to slip deeper into a dream, to dream of a better life. To dream of Pidge, and never wake from that dream.

Never awake, never face the world.


I'll close my eyes
(so I don't' have to see you leave)
Tell another lie
(anything to keep you here)
Think of yesterday
Think of everything you said
There's nothing left to say

Song used is "Speechless" by Fenix TX.

Voltron
Feed Todesengel