fishing (or, how todesengel finds a couple)

Once upon a time, there was a fisherman, who, for lack of a better name, we shall call Lance. He was a so-so fisherman, who never really caught anything in the sea. That's why, one day he decided to go up into the mountains and fish in the Bishonen pools. After all, Bishonen have so much more potential for fun than plain old fish.

So up into the Mountains Lance went, bouncing his fishing pole on his shoulder and whistling a happy tune. This lasted for about five minutes, after which Lance realized that bouncing your fishing pole and whistling a happy tune isn't the best way to go about climbing a mountain.

When Lance reached the top, he was greeted with the sight of hundreds of pools, all waiting for his pole. Deciding to go for the nearest pools, he stepped up to the one labeled 'Pidge' and cast his rod. In a few seconds, he had hooked a Pidge-fish and he pulled with all his might until he landed the Pidge-fish. But the Pidge-fish wasn't too Lance's tastes and he threw it back, saying that "this one is too small. Better let it mature for awhile." And so he moved on to the next pool, not seeing the Pidge-fish flicking him off as it swam away.

The next pool was labeled the 'Hunk' pool and Lance cast his line into the pool. It was only after he had cast, however, that he realized that he hadn't put new Bishonen-bait on the hook; there was only the day-glo rubber squid left over from his last attempt at fishing in the ocean. However, when he reeled in his line to change the bait, he found that he had actually hooked something! Tugging on his line with all his strength, Lance tried to pull the Hunk-fish in. But the Hunk-fish was too large to move, and Lance was forced to cut his line or else break his rod.

"Damn, now I've lost my day-glow squid. Wonder what the Hunk-fish wanted with it..." Lance moved onto the next pool, looking back only when he heard a splash in the Pidge pool; there was a trail of wet foot prints leading from the Hunk pool to the Pidge pool and a 'back in five minutes' sign hanging from the Hunk pool's sign post. Deciding that he did not want to know, Lance ignored the splashing and giggling and turned his attention to the next pool: the Sven pool.

After restringing his pole and baiting it properly, Lance cast into the pool. Again he got a bite almost immediately. "Hey," he thought to himself, "I'm pretty good at this." Pulling hard, Lance brought the Sven-fish up to the shallows and stepped into the water to retrieve it. But the water was far too cold for him; besides, that Sven-fish didn't look right. In fact, he had a murderous gleam in his eyes and what looked suspiciously like a riding crop in one hand. Besides, there were skulls at the bottom of the pool and, while the Sven-fish didn't _look_ particularly carnivorous, anything that swam in and out of skulls all day wasn't right in the head. Shivering, Lance quickly cut the line and moved onto the next pool, which was the Lotor pool.

However, he knew almost immediately that he wasn't going to have any luck in this pool. The Lotor-fish was far too busy with his slave-fish to pay any attention to the lure. No matter how pretty it was. Sighing he moved on, skipping over the Allura pool completely, just on the general principal that all that gold hair couldn't be good for you.

Lance finally reached the Keith pool, last pool in this particular spot. It was far away from all the other pools and looked almost empty. Shrugging, Lance cast his line and sat down to wait. He patiently sat there, casting again and again until, finally, he had a bite! The Keith-fish fought hard with him, but Lance finally managed to reel it in and pull it up onto land. The Keith-fish glared at him, as it flopped on the ground. Lance beamed down at his prize. "Finally, a perfect catch!"

The Keith-fish snorted. "Why didn't you take one of the other fish?"

"Well," Lance replied, "the Pidge-fish was too small and the Hunk-fish was too large. The Sven-fish was just plain old scary, and the Lotor-fish was too involved with his slave-fish to pay attention to my bait. But you...You're just right. So I'm keeping you."

And with that, Lance hoisted his Keith-fish over his shoulder barbarian style and climbed down the mountain back to his home. Once there he did whatever it is that one does with a helpless-but-willing Keith-fish. There was some 'gobbling him right up' at any rate.

The End

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