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exaggeration Keith opened the door on the third knock, and the vase of daffodils he had been holding fell to the floor. He watched it fall, a visual feast of pale yellow and fragile green and glinting, refracting light. And then it shattered and there was glass everywhere. He was numb, entire being in a complete state of shock. He stared at the mess on the floor and tried to catch his breath and come to terms with the man standing in his doorway, who cast his long shadow into the hall. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but he couldn't. His throat clenched and he couldn't breathe. Hunk. Oh God. He looked good for a man who was supposed to be dead. He had taken a page out of Lance's book, with long, shaggy hair and a leather jacket, and Keith wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. There were new scars, new lines, new hints of grey to his hair. He was leaner than he had been, his roundness melted away by whatever trials he had undergone. Ten years had been a long time, but it seemed as though Hunk had aged twice that amount. He stood with his head bent slightly, leaning against the frame. "What, don't you have anything to say to me?" Hunk looked up through the fringe of his hair and flashed the same, slow, shy smile that had gotten Keith hooked in the first place. His voice was lower than Keith remembered, reverberating at the bottom of his spine. "I know that it's been awhile and we didn't part of the best of terms, but come on. Surely you can say 'hi' to me, right?" "Hi," Keith said at last, his voice unsteady. He swallowed and took a step back. "Come in." Hunk smiled again and took a step into the foyer. He shut the door behind him and leaned in close to Keith. "I missed you," he whispered. "Yeah." Keith stepped back again and looked down. His legs were trembling. "I, uh." He had no words. "You were." "I know." Hunk moved in again, hunger in his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry." "I can't." Keith clenched his hands until his nails pierced his skin and blood fell to the carpet. "You. You were dead. They said you were dead." "Well, the report of my death was an exaggeration." Hunk didn't move closer this time, he only reached out his hand to touch Keith's. His hand was warm and soft and rough all at once, and it was as if there hadn't been ten years of separation. "Keith. If I could have called you--" "I know." Keith let his fingers interlace Hunk's and he met his old comrade's eyes for the first time this strange day. "But. Your death. I couldn't." He closed his eyes again, struggling to repress the tide of pain that threatened to drown him, even though Hunk was standing right before him. His chest hurt and he had to take a long, deep breath before he could speak. "I almost died." His eyes stung and his cheeks were wet with the tears he hadn't been able to shed a decade ago. "I couldn't. It was so hard to live with out you." "I know." Hunk used their linked hands to pull Keith close and wrap him in a bear hug. "I know." He broke the embrace and wiped away Keith's tears. "But I'm here now. And I love you, Keith. Oh Christ, how I love you. I won't ever leave you again." "I can't. I can't go with you," Keith said. "I'm involved with someone else. I've got a new life now." Keith took a small step back, away from Hunk. "If I went with you and I lost you again...I've done that once. I don't think I could survive a second time." "Oh." Hunk took a deep breath and there was silence between them. "I see. Well, uh. I guess I'll go." He turned to the door. Keith watched him, gnawing on his lower lip. He reached out a hand, touched Hunk's elbow. "I never stopped loving you. I'll never stop loving you." "I know." Hunk opened the door and looked up at the still bright fall sky. He didn't turn around, knowing that if he did so he would never be able to leave. A wind blew past and Hunk turned up his collar. He stepped off the porch and walked down path, and his voice floated back. "Goodbye Keith." Keith closed the door and put his forehead to the cool wood. A fresh spate of grief washed over him, and new tears made tracks down his checks. He stood there, heart aching, knowing all the while that this was the right--the only--thing to do, and waited for his pain to pass. When he could think again he wiped his eyes and went to the window to watch Hunk's retreating form. And he whispered, "Goodbye." |