1. Absolute disregard for character. I know, I know, this is incredibly hypocritical of me since I do nothing but violate character, but it still pisses me off. Tom Paris would not be saying "Gods". Aziraphale would not become an agent of Satan (though I'm perfectly willing to accept his intellectual curiosity over contemplating such a shift in alliances). Sam would never leave Frodo. (It's late so I can't think of anything else to put down here.) Give me a logical reason for the OOC. Tell me why Paris is a polytheist. Tell me why Sam abandoned Frodo. Tell me why Aziraphale fell. I'm all for bending character rules, but only when the bending is backed up with a sensible explanation.

2. The all fired urge to marry the boys and have them raise a family. Yeah. I don't get this. It annoys me to an incredible degree, however. If I read one more story where two men stare lovingly into each other's faces and call each other 'husband' and have two kids and a dog, well, I'm just going to have to bring out my shotgun and commit some character death (which is precisely what I did in Broken Wings. Keith and Lance got married; and then Keith died. Rather painfully). If they're dead they can't have kids. Yes I am a commitment-phobe. The same goes for anniversaries. The Lord spare me from excessive sap.

3.Starting a fic with pointless exposition (and pointless exposition in general). If we're reading the fic than we know the fandom. We don't need you to tell us every last sodding detail about Ensign Harry Kim and the tragic fate of the USS Voyager, or remind us that Tom is Harry's best friend. Or tell us that Tom and Harry are lovers and have a family and children and are still the bestest of best friends with everybody on the ship including B'Ellanna. We're intelligent people. We can figure this shit out. All it does is detract from the story and lower my opinion of you as a writer. If you need to explain stuff, fine. But don't do it in this heavy-handed fashion.

4. Excessive use of 'lover' and/or 'love' as a name/nickname. I have no rational explanation for this other than the fact that, in my experience, bad sap stories tend to have an abundance of these two words. I just really hate it when one character refers to the other as 'my lover' or 'love' or 'baby' or any of a number of saccharine soaked pet names. Most guys just can't pull it off and look incredibly insincere when they try.

5. Girly men. By all that is holy, please, please, please don't make one of you guys into a fem-type character. Hell, I'll beg you by all that's unholy too. It just ruins a fanfic. Unless it's done out of humorous intent, of course. Remember, people, Legolas is an elf. Not a woman. There's a very big difference.

6. Male pregnancies. Why? That's all I want to know. Why?

7. The use of scene setters. You know what I mean. Those little phrases that consist solely of where the scene has shifted to, just sort of floating in space with nothing to anchor them down. Would it really be so difficult to start the new scene off with "Harry arrived at Holosuite 1 promptly at 0100"? Stop being mean to spatial indicators! Give them something to hold onto! Make them a meaningful part of the story! Dangling locational markers don't do anybody any good.

8. Mary-Sues or the masculine equivalents thereof. Pretty self-explanatory. Thank all the gods of Slashdom that there haven't been any of these in the Voltron fandom.

8b. Original characters as main love interests. Yes. I am bigoted and biased against original characters. I like my men with other men in their fandom. I don't want some random stranger putting the moves on Keith or Lance for an entire story. I like reading and writing fanfic because it's a continuation of the canon--and as such I only really want to see canon characters in starring roles. Plus original characters have a tendency to become Mary-Sue-ish. And I don't like that.

9. Yentas. Although the use of the Yenta can sometimes be amusing, it's generally more annoying than anything else. Let the guys come to their own conclusions. Stop trying to push them together. Don't deprive us of all the wonderful angst that comes from dithering indecision.

10. Waking up gay. So fucking annoying. And, sadly, there seems to be copious amounts of stories of this type. Done well, the 'I'm in love with my best friend' plot can be absolutely brilliant. But it's rarely done well and all too often the melodrama takes control and melodrama is a bad driver. Melodrama should always stay behind the yellow line.

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