Utter Nonsense

by Forest

Eyes blissfully closed, Keith tilted his head back into the warm spray, feeling his hair slide in a heavy, silken mass down between his shoulder blades. It was rare for him to take such self-indulgent showers, especially since Lance tended to complain endlessly if there wasn't enough hot water left for his own marathon-length daily scaldings.

He felt the beginnings of an itch, and pulled his hair over one shoulder, moving forward slightly and arching his back into the pulsing water. The itch, however, did not relent but rather grew stronger, developing into something almost akin to pain just before the large, white-feathered wings unfurled from between his shoulders.

Keith: CUT!

forest: Hey, you can't yell cut, you aren't the director.

Keith: I don't care. There was nothing in the script about wings.

forest: ...Script?... Never mind. Look, I couldn't help it! I've been reading Broken Wings again, and talking to JoAnn a lot, and watching Escaflowne, and, well, Poof! Wings!

Keith: Poof? POOF?!? First of all, this shower isn't nearly big enough for wings. Look what a mess they made! My right wing bonked rather painfully into the wall, and the left pushed the shower curtain completely out of the way, and now there's water all over the floor. If you're going to suddenly start writing fics where I have wings, we're going to have to renegotiate my contract 'cuz I'm going to need a bigger bathroom.

forest: *giggle*

Keith: <sighs> What?

forest: Sorry. There's just something funny about the words "renegotiate my contract" coming from a guy who's standing there naked and dripping wet.

Keith: <mutters unprintables, grabs for a towel> Why me?

forest: <brightly> Why you indeed? Let's see how miserable we can make the others!

<Pidge enters as a fuzzy green space mouse>

Pidge: Aw, c'mon, I thought we were over the whole fuzzy mouse thing!

forest: But... fuzzy! Besides, Keith has wings, so he can't very well be chibi neko, so I had to work kaie's vision in here somehow.

Pidge: Is that what passes for logic in your world? Besides, that doesn't seem fair. Kaie hardly even writes me into his fics.

forest: <dryly> Oh, sorry. Let's see, someone who writes a lot of Pidge... why that would be Jemisard! So, would you rather be blinded, have your voice removed, be beaten nearly to death, be psychopathic and suicidal, suffer brain death, or die?

Pidge: ...on second thought, being a fuzzy green mouse isn't so bad.

forest: If it makes you feel any better, you can drain your life energy to make things go "boom".

Pidge: Cool!

Lance: Aw, it's so cute when your whiskers twitch like that!

Pidge: When did you get here? And like you can talk. Nice tail.

Lance: <smugly> That's what they tell me. Wait... Tail? Not again with the fox thing!

forest: But almost everybody likes you as a fox! Zoe and Taryn and JoAnn and Todesengel and Phoenix and...

Keith: Me.

Lance: <eyes Keith's towel> I can see that.

Keith: *^^* <pulls wings around self>

Lance: <finally notices wings, having hitherto been too distracted by aforementioned towel>

Lotor: <runs in> Hide me!

Pidge: Um, Lotor? Not that I'm complaining, but what's with the black leather sex slave outfit?

Lotor: <glares at forest> Forest is trying to bribe Amy and Taryn into posting more fic. But now Coran is after me!

Keith: Coran? Since when are you afraid of Coran?

Lotor: He's wearing the Rocky Horror costume.

VF: ^^;

Lotor: With 6-inch-heel thigh-high stiletto bitch boots.

VF: ^^;;;;

Lotor: Singing "These Boots Were Made for Walking."

VF: ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;; <Pidge passes out, Lance and Keith cling to each other>

Hunk: <floats in, with hugely dilated pupils> Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle...

Lance: That's the best you can do?

forest: <shrugs> Hey, what can I say? The List doesn't really seem to mess much with Hunk in their fics.

Lance: Lucky bastard.

Sven: <enters, looking completely normal. Looks at Keith with wings, fuzzy green mouse Pidge, kitsune-Lance, bondage Lotor, floating Hunk> What's going on?

VF & Lotor: <consider Sven in List Fics, especially as done by Tiki, Todesengel and Taryn... they all bolt>

Sven: Where did everybody go? What's going on?

forest: <innocently> Gee, I'm not sure. But since you're here, pet, I seem to have misplaced a spoon...

~The (Mercifully) End

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